slfcare:

sometimes you’ll notice that someone isn’t doing okay, but you might not know how to approach them about it, or they keep insisting they’re doing fine. here’s how to not be intrusive or overstep while also acting on your worries:

⌁ value their space -> one of the most respectful ways to deal with anyone is to listen to them when it comes to boundaries. a hands-on approach isn’t always the most responsible way to handle a situation involving someone you care about. don’t try to take control unless you feel like they’re in serious danger, and never give them the feeling that you think you know more about them than they do.

⌁ give them the opportunity to come to you -> it’s easy to ask how they are once or twice and then move on, but if you truly want someone to feel comfortable coming to you, you should be able to go beyond asking about their feelings. saying things such as “i’ll be here when you’re ready”, “i’m always interested in how you’re doing” and “i want to be someone you feel comfortable with and trust” can already serve as an enabler. without overstepping by insisting they talk, you’ll make sure they have a reason to believe that someone wants to hear them and loves them enough to listen.

⌁ actively be a friend -> not overstepping doesn’t mean taking a step back, and giving someone space doesn’t always mean cutting off contact on your part. stay involved, interested, and kind. let them know you’re thinking of them by involving them in the conversation or even sending them funny posts. and while it’s okay to acknowledge that you know they’re not doing well, don’t give them a reason to believe that their struggles are all you see when you look at them, and do give them a reason to believe that you know they have value either way.

to be there for someone you don’t necessarily have to prioritize them, and to really let someone know you care for them you don’t have to pressure them by asking about their feelings twenty times a day. but letting someone know that you’re serious about loving them and wanting to be there for them can already go a very long way.